guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
