in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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