Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
