he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize