That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
