She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
