dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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