the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
