she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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