I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
