how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
