Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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