Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
