I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
