is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
last night I used snow as a chaser
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