I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I lost the right to judge tonight
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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