yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
