just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize