An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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