Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
