it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize