The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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