OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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