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awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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