Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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