your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
