worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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