i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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