If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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