You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
