wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
