he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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