i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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