Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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