TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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