just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize