I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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