summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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