Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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