I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
