we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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