What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
