I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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