Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Drunk is not a location!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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