If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
