During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
two words...techno handjob
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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