If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
