Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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