we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
