Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
