Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
