the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
