I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
