Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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