Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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