I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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