Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
