That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize