Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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