it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
