I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
