Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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