wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
