My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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