I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
