She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
