Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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