put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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