Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
