In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
