is your mom at the bar?
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
