he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
